Showerheads

As a business traveler I spend a lot of time in hotels, particularly ones that share the name of a rather flighty celebrity.  I've found that I can sleep in most, if not all, beds but it's the showerheads that have become a source of ire.

Let there be no ambiguity: there is no such thing as a massaging shower head, only broken ones.

I've listed the 3 most common types:

1. Pins and Needles - This is the nozzle setting that feels like Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, is clawing your back mercilessly.  Of course, the showerhead is broken and only this setting is available.

2. The Dribbling Sunflower - This is when water is shooting out the back of the showerhead and what comes out the front is a weak stream of lukewarm water forcing you to huddle under its light trickle.

3. ...and my personal favorite: Shoot-You-In-The-Eye-Shoot-You-In-The-Nuts - This sadistic showerhead setting keeps you on your feet by shooting a rapid, alternating stream of water in your left eye and then your crotch and then your left eye. Who thought this was theraputic?

I like to complain.